Category Archives: Gender

Valencia Farmer . . . We will not forget you!

Waterfall and rainbow

If you click on the “About Us” tab on our website, you will see that Women Demand Dignity was started as a result of a brutal attack on Alison Saayman who was nearly killed in her home in Observatory, Cape Town; it was also the year that 19-year old Valencia Farmer was gang raped and left for dead, living long enough to name her murderers.

Valencia Farmer was 14 when she was raped in an abandoned house in Eucalyptus Street, Eersterivier, in June 1999. She was repeatedly stabbed and her throat was slit.

She crawled into the street where a neighbour found her. She died in Tygerberg Hospital, but was able to tell police who her attackers were.

Picture of Valencia Farmer’s naked bleeding body will stay with me forever

Rose opening Animation

New arrest in 16-year old murder – a surprise for victim’s mom


The questions currently being asked are:

• Who will support the mother emotionally while she is suffering secondary trauma all over again?
• What sort of financial compensation will this traumatised mother receive during this time and afterwards?
• Where will the emotional and financial support come from?
• How will our justice system deal with this case? Will the perpetrators receive life sentences?
• Where are all the activists who made their voices heard 16 years ago? What are they saying/doing today?

What are your thoughts?

Do let us know . . .

Helping Domestic Violence Survivors Create Financial Security

Abuse_Woman on couch

The economic aspect of domestic violence and abuse is one of its most debilitating components.

Economic abuse can include things like preventing the survivor from accessing bank accounts, destroying their credit and interfering with their employment, making it hard – if not impossible – for survivors to fully recover and build new lives.

Read more here:

“We Need to Talk…”

Announcement animation

We need to talk . . .

… about why justice is an aspiration but not a reality for the women of South Africa”

Join us and the following speakers for breakfast and conversation about this important subject on 19 June 2015

Janet Love, National Director, Legal Resources Centre and Commissioner, SA Human Rights Commission

Patience Mpani, Senior Researcher, Tshwaranang Legal Advocacy Centre

Sushila Dhever, Partner & Head of Pro Bono Unit for Fasken Martineau

Asha Ramla, Magistrate, Germiston Court

Malesela Aaron Raletjena, Senior State Advocate, National Prosecuting Authority

Gushwell Brooks, journalist, conversation moderator

Time: 07-10.30 am

RSVPs essential

For more information or to RSVP please email

The event will also be live tweeted and you can follow or join the conversation via‪ #‎WeNeedToTalkSA‬ @endGBV

Why I don’t want my daughter to pledge her virginity

Child_Parent holding hands

Over in America there are these frankly bizarre things called Purity Balls, no, it’s not a cleanser for testicles but an event in which young girls pledge to their fathers that they won’t have sex before marriage. Within the conservative christian movement, these purity balls are spreading and now happen in 48 states across the USA with daughters committing to “live pure lives before God” to their fathers.

The images of these balls show young girls dressed in white, like mini brides, standing by their fathers, wearing suits akin to a groom. The ceremonies have a similar structure to a traditional wedding with vows, dinners and speeches with the average age of the girls being 12 – 13, the kind of age where puberty is becoming more apparent.

Hop over here to read more:


It takes a Village to raise a Child


Almost a century and a half ago, Abraham Lincoln wrote a letter to his son’s Head Master.

The Letter reads:

“Respected Teacher,

My son will have to learn I know that all men are not just, all men are not true. But teach him also that for every scoundrel there is a hero;

that for every selfish politician, there is a dedicated leader. Teach him that for every enemy there is a friend.

It will take time, I know; but teach him, if you can, that a dollar earned is far more valuable than five found.

Teach him to learn to lose and also to enjoy winning.

Steer him away from envy, if you can.

Clip Art Graphic of a Pillar Cartoon Character

Teach him the secret of quiet laughter. Let him learn early that the bullies are the easiest to tick off.

Teach him, if you can, the wonder of books. . . but also give him quiet time to ponder over the eternal mystery of birds in the sky, bees in the sun, and flowers on a green hillside.

Teach him to have faith in his own ideas, even if every one tells him they are wrong.

Teach him to be gentle with gentle people and tough with the tough.

Try to give my son the strength not to follow the crowd when every one is getting on the bandwagon.

Teach him to listen to all men but teach him also to filter all he hears on a screen of truth and take only the good that comes through.

Teach him, if you can, how to laugh when he is sad. Teach him there is no shame in tears.

Teach him to scoff at cynics and to beware of too much sweetness.

Ocean Wave Animation

Teach him to sell his brawn and brain to the highest bidders; but never to put a price tag on his heart and soul.

Teach him to close his ears to a howling mob… and to stand and fight if he thinks he’s right.

Treat him gently; but do not cuddle him because only the test of fire makes fine steel.

Let him have the courage to be impatient, let him have the patience to be brave. Teach him always to have sublime faith in himself because then he will always have sublime faith in mankind.

This is a big order; but see what you can do. He is such a fine little fellow, my son.

Abraham Lincoln. ”