Category Archives: Crime

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I hope your week is off to a wonderful start.

I am in the process of planning my content for the rest of 2016 and I’ve hit a mental block.

I’ve been posting content daily for a little more than a year now and think that maybe it’s time for a little overhaul.

As I was trying to figure all this out, I realised something.

I NEED HELP!!
Specifically, I’d LOVE your help

What I would love your help with is . . .
• Any burning business related questions you want to ask
• Any particular topics you want to hear me talk more about here on this page
• Would you like or prefer me to share business related information via short video messages?
• What would you like popping into your inbox from me every week? Would you like me to do a weekly/monthly newsletter? If so, what topics would you like me to cover that would inspire and empower you and help you build a thriving business?
• If you would like to receive a weekly/monthly newsletter from me, please provide me with your e-mail address for my mailing list.

If you could spare a minute or so just to give me some feedback I would appreciate it so much. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated.

Would you prefer a short video more than reading posts here? Do you prefer Podcasts to video? Do you want a newsletter? If yes, how often? Weekly or monthly? What topics would you like covered?

Let me know anything and everything that will help inspire me to create content that you will love.

I look forward to receiving your feedback in the comments box below.

Have a lovely week.

7 Signs of an “Emotionally Abusive Relationship” (All Women MUST WATCH)

Power & Control (man & woman on couch)

Are you currently in an abusive relationship? Have you dated someone in the past who was abusive?

Watch the 7 Signs of An Abusive Relationship to learn what to do.

Flowers on wooden table

Here are the 7 signs:

1. He’s a psycho saddist – he literally feels better about himself the more than he puts you down. Maybe he constantly humiliates you, criticizes you, or embarrasses you.

2. You’re forced to always put his needs in front of your own needs because you’re scared of how he might react.

3. He makes you believe that you are the reason why the relationship is struggling – or that you’re the crazy one.

4. He cheats on you or intentionally tries to make you jealous.

5. He treats you like a pet, not like a person. Does he control where you go, what you do? Does he keep you from seeing friends or family, or limit your access to money, the phone or the car?

6. He makes you feel inferior by negatively comparing you to other people or other women.

7. You’re afraid of him

He . . . A blog by Sam

It was 1995. I was 14. I met him in Meadowhall, he called out to me and said I was beautiful. I was flattered as he was older. If an older man thought I was attractive, then I must be pretty cool, right?

He caught my hand as I walked past him and his friends, pulling me towards him. I blushed and looked at the floor. He called me gorgeous and said all the things that men in movies say to women.

He asked for my number and I got flustered, I told him I was 14 and he couldn’t call my house as I’d get in bother with my mum and so he gave me his and told me to phone him.

Read more here:

He. 

Strong woman . . . walk away!

A strong woman will automatically stop trying

Do not compromise your self-worth and dignity by forcing yourself to stay in a place where it is evident and explicitly clear that you are no longer valued.

Take heart and move on with your life, there is a better future waiting for you out there. Trust and believe that better things are still to come for you.

African Lion

Battered Women’s Syndrome
Battered Women’s Syndrome is considered to be a form of Post-Traumatic Stress. Battered Women’s Syndrome is a recognized psychological condition that is used to describe someone who has been the victim of consistent and/or severe domestic violence. To be classified as a battered woman, a woman has to have been through two cycles of abuse.

What is a Cycle of Abuse?
A Cycle of abuse is abuse that occurs in a repeating pattern. Abuse is identifiable as being cyclical in two ways: it is both generational and episodic. Generational cycles of abuse are passed down, by example and exposure, from parents to children. Episodic abuse occurs in a repeating pattern within the context of at least two individuals within a family system. It may involve spousal abuse, child abuse, or even elder abuse.

A son, who is repeatedly either verbally or physically abused by his father, will predictably treat his own children in the same way. When a daughter hears her mother frequently tear down, belittle, and criticize her father, she will adapt a learned behavior which involves control through verbal abuse. Similarly, a child who witnesses his parents engaging in abusive behaviors toward one another, will very likely subject his or her spouse to the same abusive patterns. These are examples of generational abuse.

The episodic cycle of abuse is characterized by distinct periods of behavior that eventually result in an extreme episode of verbal and/or physical abuse. Typically, victims of episodic abuse live in denial of this reoccurring pattern.

Flowers on wooden table

Stages of Battered Women’s Syndrome
There are generally four stages in the battered women’s syndrome.

Stage One–Denial
Stage one of battered women’s syndrome occurs when the battered woman denies to others, and to herself, that there is a problem. Most battered women will make up excuses for why their partners have an abusive incident. Battered women will generally believe that the abuse will never happen again.

Stage Two–Guilt
Stage two of battered women’s syndrome occurs when a battered woman truly recognizes or acknowledges that there is a problem in her relationship. She recognizes she has been the victim of abuse and that she may be beaten again. During this stage, most battered women will take on the blame or responsibility of any beatings they may receive.

Battered women will begin to question their own characters and try harder to live up their partners “expectations.”

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Stage Three-Enlightenment
Stage three of battered women’s syndrome occurs when a battered woman starts to understand that no one deserves to be beaten. A battered woman comes to see that the beatings she receives from her partner are not justified. She also recognizes that her partner has a serious problem. However, she stays with her abuser in an attempt to keep the relationship in tact with hopes of future change.

Stage Four–Responsibility
Stage four of battered women’s syndrome occurs when a battered woman recognizes that her abuser has a problem that only he can fix. Battered women in this stage come to understand that nothing they can do or say can help their abusers. Battered women in this stage choose to take the necessary steps to leave their abusers and begin to start new lives.

If you are a victim of domestic violence, help is available. Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline (in South Africa) at 0800-150-150. They will direct you to safe places in your area where you can seek help.

Does he love, I want to know?

Hi everyone

This week I’m going to re-post something I wrote for my personal blog because I think it is appropriate for this site as well.

Rose opening Animation

Here’s the link:

Gender-Based Violence Command Centre wins Best Technology Innovation world award

Announcement animation

Pretoria, November 5, 2015 – The Department of Social Development’s Gender-Based Violence Command Centre (GBVCC) – a 24-hour call centre dedicated to providing support and counselling to victims of gender based violence – has been named the Best Technology Innovation – Small Centre of the world at the Global Best Contact Centre Awards in Las Vegas on November 5.

As the Gold Medal Winner, this means the GBVCC is ranked number one in the world in its category.

This adds to three other highly acclaimed service awards the GBVCC has won since its launch in March 2014 – the Innovation Award in the Contact Centre Management Group (CCMG) awards, the Changing Lives Award in the Africom Awards, as well as the Golden Award won in the Technological Innovation Awards in London.

Minister for Social Development, Ms Bathabile Dlamini, says the international recognition of the GBVCC communicates the South African government’s commitment to fighting gender-based violence to the rest of the world and places the country at the lead of international best practice against gender-based violence.

“We launched the Command Centre as part of our service delivery improvement programme aimed at responding quicker, more effectively and innovatively to social challenges in the country, Project Mikondzo. Being recognised for best technology innovation in the world confirms that we are on the right track and it inspires us to work even harder to find inventive ways of responding effectively to the social challenges in the country.

Rose opening Animation

“The award comes just a few weeks before we launch the 16 Days of Activism for No Violence Against Women and Children 2015 Campaign and emboldens us to work harder to eradicate violence against women and children. We express our thanks to the organisations who have partnered with us in making this project a reality,” said Minister Dlamini.

The GBVCC uses mobile technology to estimate the location of a victim, assign the closest social worker in the field to the case, and record and receive continuous feedback on the case. When a caller contacts the GBVCC from a mobile phone, they are (with explicit permission) geographically located, enabling the Centre to determine the resources nearest to the caller, whether it be a social worker, a police station, a hospital or safe house. In this way, help is dispatched in quick fashion.

The toll free number to call to speak to a social worker for assistance and counselling is 0800 428 428 (0800 GBV GBV). Callers can also request a social worker from the Command Centre to contact them by dialling *120*7867# (free) from any cell phone.

Girl holding teddy

The GBVCC emanated from the work of the Inter-Ministerial Committee (IMC) on the Root Causes of Violence Against Women and Children – chaired by Minister Dlamini.

The IMC was established by President Jacob Zuma in May 2012 to reinforce political leadership and accountability in the national prevention and response to the rising figures of sexual violence in our country.

The membership of the IMC comprises of the Ministers of Justice and Constitutional Development; Women; Home Affairs; Police and Basic Education. Through the GBVCC, the work of this Committee is certainly contributing towards the improvement of the country response to and prevention of sexual violence.
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ISSUED BY THE NATIONAL DEPARTMENT OF SOCIAL DEVELOPMENT in South Africa
Media inquiries: Lumka Oliphant on 083 484 8067 or lumkao@dsd.gov.za

365 Days of Violence Against Women – Because We Can!

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The 16 days for no violence against women and children is commemorated annually from 25 November to 10 December and every year a theme is usually assigned to the campaign in an effort to get everyone speaking with one voice.

The theme for the campaign in South Africa for 2015 is: “Count me in: Together moving a non-violent South Africa forward”.

Sadly, I find this theme laughable! Why?

Abuse_Woman hiding face

Violence against women and children in South Africa continues unabated because there are no serious consequences for the perpetrators and because, in most cases, the courts and justice system fail the victims, survivors and their families.

All this violence is perpetrated in spite of wonderful progressive legislation which looks good on paper, but in reality, serves no purpose. We have, for example:

• The Domestic Violence Act (which has one of the broadest definitions of violence against women and children)
• South Africa has ratified the Convention on Violence Against Women
• South Africa has introduced a 365 days National Action Plan to end gender violence
• South Africa has instituted a National Council against gender-based violence
• South Africa has prioritised measures for the promotion and empowerment of women, such as setting up a special Government department

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In spite of all this, violence against women and children continues. Various studies have shown that 40 – 50 percent of women have experienced intimate partner violence. On top of all this, incidents of violence against women and children still go largely unreported. The approximately 50,000 rapes reported annually are estimated to be about nine times lower than the actual number reported.

Violence against women and children is so firmly entrenched in South Africa and it does not seem to be changing. Instead, violence has become an accepted way to assert and reassert masculinity and dominance.

Abuse_Woman on couch

What we need in South Africa:
• Government to provide resources to enforce the legislation that will send a strong message that these acts are unacceptable.
• Government must help change the cultural and religious beliefs and practices. Reforming gender-violent cultural and religious beliefs will be extremely challenging – almost impossible – if public leaders continue to enforce stereotypical beliefs and practices
• Civil society is in a position to work with people in transforming misguided cultural and religious beliefs and practices and has a duty to see to it that legislation and policies on violence against women are enforced.
• Civil society has to help improve people’s understanding of the relevant laws and policies and restore their trust in Government institutions.
• Civil society needs to publicly condemn Government leaders who speak and act in ways that enforce gender equality and women’s marginalisation.

Abuse_Woman cowering

We need a strong, united, multi-level response from both Government and civil society which is still not happening. Women and children continue to suffer as a result.

I also wrote:
The Stages of Power a mature man must progress through –
Find it here: