Monthly Archives: May 2015

Why I don’t want my daughter to pledge her virginity

Child_Parent holding hands

Over in America there are these frankly bizarre things called Purity Balls, no, it’s not a cleanser for testicles but an event in which young girls pledge to their fathers that they won’t have sex before marriage. Within the conservative christian movement, these purity balls are spreading and now happen in 48 states across the USA with daughters committing to “live pure lives before God” to their fathers.

The images of these balls show young girls dressed in white, like mini brides, standing by their fathers, wearing suits akin to a groom. The ceremonies have a similar structure to a traditional wedding with vows, dinners and speeches with the average age of the girls being 12 – 13, the kind of age where puberty is becoming more apparent.

Hop over here to read more:


Do you know how to build your own Domestic Violence case without a lawyer?

Law Scales

Divorce, no matter what the circumstances, does not happen overnight, it is a difficult decision for the one initiating the divorce and even worse, when you still love your spouse IN SPITE OF the domestic violence taking place. Divorce is also a huge adjustment for the children irrespective of their age.

Initiating divorce as a result of Domestic Violence is so much more difficult because the court relies heavily on the “injured party” to prove that there was, in fact, Domestic Violence and that the marriage has irretrievably broken down as life with the abuser has become intolerable.

Do you know how to build your own Domestic Violence case without the help of a lawyer?

Would you like to know how to do this yourself?



Always remember: when collecting evidence against your spouse to build your case, NEVER tell your spouse . . .

1) That you are planning to divorce him or her
2) Never let him or her catch you in the act of collecting evidence against him or her. Make sure the neighbours don’t know what’s going on – you never know who will think they are being a good neighbour by telling your spouse what your plans are.
3) Never tell your children anything that could put your life or their lives in danger if they shared what they know with your spouse. Remember: children will always want to “help” the other spouse because children will go to the ends of the earth to keep their parents together. You have to include your children in your decision but only tell them what they need to know. They don’t need to know your every move. They don’t need to know you are collecting evidence against your spouse. Trust me . . . they will tell the other spouse what you are doing.
4) Safety Plan (in writing): Always make sure you have a Safety Plan in place. This must be written down – under no circumstances must your spouse know about this document nor must your spouse ever see this document. It must be in writing and you must give a copy to at least two people you trust so that if anything should happen to you and your children and you need to move out of the house immediately, you will know where to go and everybody will know what they need to do in order to keep you and your children safe .

I have a template you could use – please send an e-mail to: to request a blank template.

5) Do not take any risks! Your safety and that of your children is of utmost importance at all times. Never do anything that would compromise the safety of you or your children.


Useful Resources for you:
How to build your own Domestic Violence case without a lawyer – Find it here

Guidelines for parents undergoing separation or divorce can be found here: Zur, O. (2012). For The Sake Of Our Children: Guidelines For Parents Undergoing Separation or Divorce. Retrieved May/16/2015 from