Monthly Archives: May 2013

Child Protection Week

Baby in Bath Animation

27 May – 2 June is Child Protection Week.

Are we doing enough to protect our children?
Is the government doing enough to protect our children?

What do you think needs to be done to protect our children against violence, trauma and abuse?

Re-thinking gender and crime

Questions (Blackboard)

Are our notions of gender, race and class influenced by how society defines crime and how offenders commit crimes and are treated for their actions?

What do you think?

Looking forward to your responses to this question.

The Cycle of Violence

Violence Wheel

 Any type of abuse occurs (physical/sexual/emotional)

Tension Building Abuser starts to get angry
 Abuse may begin
 There is a breakdown of communication
 Victim feels the need to keep the abuser calm
 Tension becomes too much
 Victim feels like they are ‘walking on egg shells’

 Abuser may apologize for abuse
 Abuser may promise it will never happen again
 Abuser may blame the victim for causing the abuse
 Abuser may deny abuse took place or say it was not as bad as the victim claims
 Abuser acts like the abuse never happened
 Physical abuse may not be taking place
 Promises made during ‘making-up’ may be met
 Victim may hope that the abuse is over
 Abuser may give gifts to victim

The cycle can happen hundreds of times in an abusive relationship. Each stage lasts a different amount of time in a relationship. The total cycle can take anywhere from a few hours to a year or more to complete.

It is important to remember that not all domestic violence relationships fit the cycle. Often, as time goes on, the ‘making-up’ and ‘calm’ stages disappear.

Adapted from the original concept of: Walker, Lenore. The Battered Woman. New York: Harper and Row, 1979.

What Can I Do To Be Safe?

Call the police

If you feel you are in danger from your abuser at any time, you can call 10111 or your local police.

Consider the following:
 If you are in danger when the police come, they can protect you.
 They can help you and your children leave your home safely.
 They can arrest your abuser when they have enough proof that you have been abused.
 They can arrest your abuser if a personal Protection Order has been violated.
 When the police come, tell them everything the abuser did that made you call.
 If you have been hit, tell the police where. Tell them how many times it happened. Show them any marks left on your body.

Marks may take time to show up. If you see a mark after the police leave, call the police to take pictures of the marks. They may be used in court. While waiting for the police, get someone to take pictures of your bruises for you. Use your cell phone if necessary.
 If your abuser has broken any property, show the police.
 The police can give you information on domestic violence programs and shelters.
 The police must make a report saying what happened to you. Police reports can be used in court if your abuser is charged with a crime.
 Get the officers’ names, badge numbers, and the report number in case you need a copy of the report.
 A police report can be used to help you get a Protection Order.

Get support from friends and family
Tell your supportive family, friends and co-workers what has happened.

Find a safe place
It is not fair. You should not have to leave your home because of what your abuser has done. But sometimes it is the only way you will be safe. There are shelters that can help you move to a different city or state. HAVEN can put you in touch with them.

Get medical help
If you have been hurt, go to the hospital or your doctor. Domestic violence advocates (Social Workers) may be called to the hospital.

They are there to give you support. You may ask medical staff to call one for you.

Medical records can be important in court cases. They can also help you get a Protection Order. Give all the information about your injuries and who hurt you that you feel safe to give.

Special medical concerns
 Sometimes you may not even know you are hurt.
 What seems like a small injury could be a big one.
 If you are pregnant and you were hit in your stomach, tell the doctor. Many abusers hurt unborn children.
 Domestic violence victims can be in danger of closed head injuries. This is because their abusers often hit them in the head.

If any of these things happen after a hit to the head, get medical care right away.
* Memory loss
* Dizziness
* Problems with eyesight
* Throwing-up
* Headache that will not go away

Get a personal protection order

Make a safety plan
Plan what to do before or when you feel unsafe. We can provide you with a template which you can use to compile your own Safety Plan. E-mail us and request a copy at

Rape statistics in South Africa – what do you think?

Crying Baby Animation

What do you think of the rape statistics in South Africa?

Can you believe that the latest statistics available in South Africa was compiled in the year 2000?

Rape Stats in SA by Stats SA 2000

Isn’t it just a crying shame?